Talking - verses - Communicating

One of the easiest things we all learn to do in life is to talk, and we learn at a very early age. Talking does not necessarily mean we are communicating. Becoming a master communicator begins with listening and understanding the other person.

Assess your communication skills:

1. Pay attention—people hear four to six times faster than a person can speak, often times making room for daydreaming and being distracted. A method of overcoming the distractions is to let the speaker know you are listening by establishing good eye contact and give them an occasional nod or an affirmation such as “I see.”


2. Listen for content and overlook the delivery—don’t allow yourself to be sidetracked by the speaker’s accent or choice of vocabulary. Intelligent communicators and listeners learn to ignore these distractions and focus on what’s being said.


3. Wait your turn—poor listeners/communicators are often too busy preparing what they want to say and therefore miss everything the other person says. Allow the speaker to finish expressing themselves and listen to everything they are saying prior to giving a response. When you pause for a moment prior to responding, you will discover that this brief moment of silence is productive in gaining their full attention.


4. Hear the real message—people communicate on two levels: intellectually and emotionally. When listening, notice what is being said verbally and non-verbally.


5. Encourage the speaker—move the conversation forward by asking pertinent questions and showing genuine concern. People don’t care how much you know until you show how much you care.

Every time people speak they reveal something about themselves and impart some information that allows you to understand them. You can learn a lot about yourself by noticing how you react to what the other person is saying. Listening to your self as well as others will enable you to have a positive learning experience.